


Hook-Up Hang-Up

by Joths_Dump



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Fluff and Humor, Hook-Up, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Top Dedue Molinaro, Unconventional Format, balthus (mentioned), outline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26810716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joths_Dump/pseuds/Joths_Dump
Summary: An outline for a fic I couldn't write.Dedue is brought along to Bear Night at a Dierdru gay bar and has a chance encounter with a "stranger."
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	Hook-Up Hang-Up

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for a Dimidue fic a while back. But I couldn’t make it, so here’s a rough outline instead. Modern AU. Sex Comedy.

Dedue is dragged along by Claude and Balthus to a Dierdru gay bar, Cichol’s Keyhole. It’s the bar’s “Bear Night”, and the place is hopping. The guys are hoping to get some nice discounts or whatever special offer they give, as well as potentially help Dedue meet someone. Claude does not pass the “Bear Test” unfortunately “Damn it, I’ll get it next time!”

Dedue is initially quite hesitant. But despite the noisy crowd Dedue does find enjoyment from the situation. He’s surprised to be getting so much attention from so many of the patrons and staff; they complement his full well-groomed beard and strong jaw, his beefy arms, his huge pecs with their silver decoration peeking out from his v-neck, etcetera.

After some time, he is split off from his friends as they see familiar faces or meet someone cute. Dedue decides to take a break and sit down alone at a table. A staff member walks by and they catch each other’s attention. The server is a handsome young man who is only slightly shorter than Dedue. Blonde, broad-shouldered, narrowed waist, strong shapely thighs, tight black clothing, one eye is protected by a black eye patch and the other is bluer than the ocean. There’s is something... nostalgic about him.

“Oh, would you happen to be Claude and Balthus’s friend?”

“Y-yes. I came with them tonight.”

“I’m... you can call me Edmond. Anything I could get for you gorgeous?”

At first, Edmond was diligently doing his job, while being particularly friendly with Dedue. But soon enough, he unofficially finished his shift and and the two of them were chatting the night away. Dedue was entranced by the blonde man’s deep soothing voice. Edmond was infatuated with the larger man’s warm smile. They drink a bit and maybe end up a little bit tipsy. 

Edmond invites Dedue to a private room, the two begin to fiercely make out. He nips at Dedue’s lips and scratches at his back. Dedue returns the favor by digging his fingers into Edmond’s taught rear and bites a hickey into his neck by his left shoulder. “Ahh...” He moans. “Come now. Why don’t we take it all the way tonight?”

Dedue thinks to himself, “I’m not seriously going to fuck a man I just met right?”

Dedue fucks the man he just met. Edmond is crushed between the wall and the massive man pounding into his ass from behind. He struggles for purchase as Dedue obliterates his hole and manhandles his cock. “More. MORE!” He begs and pants. Dedue repetitiously moans “Edmond.” The heat reaches a boiling point, Dedue loses his rhythm and rapidly and chaotically thrusts into Edmond. 

Dedue growls, “Fuck! I’m going to...!” He roars as he lands the killing blow into Edmond’s hole and paints his walls with seed. Edmond cries “DEDUE!” and fires semen onto the wall.

The two of them are dazed and exhausted. “Edmond” is muttering curses under his breath, and Dedue is a bit confused. “I am so so sorry. I didn’t mean to...” “Edmond” apologizes. “Did- did Claude tell you my name?”

“What.”

“I guess I should have figured Claude and Balthus were trying to set us up. It’s... alright. I should have told you sooner...”

“D-Dedue!?” he squeaks.

“Yes...?”

“ _Molinaro_?!”

“Is something wro- “

“From Home Ec!?” Dedue stares into the smaller man’s eyes. Dumbfounded he blinks several times. No... It couldn’t be... “ _Dimitri_?”

They both shout out in shock and embarrassment.

The following morning Claude is cackling over the phone to Dedue. “I can’t believe it!”

“Must you laugh so hard?”

“What are the odds? The punk twunk you snuck off with was the preppy twink that _you crushed on in high school_!”

“I find it hard to believe you did not set this up.”

“Sorry man, this is all on you two! Mitya was never willing to divulge much about _his high school crush_ to me. And neither one of you told me the other’s name!”

“Ugh… This is ridiculous.” Dedue groaned. Claude continued to cackle on the other side of the phone.

“Dedue, come back to bed darling~!” Dimitri called out from his bedroom.

“Ooo~! Sounds like you have some more catching up to do! Have a good day buddy, ttyl!”

“Have a good day.” Dedue grunted. He tapped the end call button on his screen. “I’ll be right there kitten~!”

**Author's Note:**

> At first I just meant to have this as a tumblr post which I would copy and paste into a twitter thread. but I wrote to much so I figured I might as well dump it here.


End file.
